OUR ACCIDENTAL BABY Read online

  “What are we going to tell Grandpa?”

  Granny patted my hand softly. “I think we should keep this between us for the time being, don’t you?”

  I almost sagged in relief, but I knew we were going to have to tell him eventually. “I’m afraid to tell him.”

  “He will understand. Trust me, Alex. Nothing you do will ever change how we feel about you. We love you. Nothing will ever change that.”

  I stare at my shoes again. “I’m sorry I have let you down.”

  Granny patted my hand again. “You haven’t let us down. These things happen. I know you’re scared right now, but we’ll get through it, okay? It’ll be fine.”

  “I hope you’re right.”

  She didn’t say anything until I looked up and met her eyes. “I’ve lived long enough to know a few things, and I know you’ll be fine. At least you won’t be working at the bar anymore,” she added with a smile. “I assume you’re looking for another job?”

  “Yeah. I have started sending out résumés.”

  “Good. I always thought it was such a waste, you working in a bar. Especially someplace like The Cat’s Claw.”

  “Yeah. I know.” I sniffed and wiped my nose and eyes.

  She patted my hand again and stood. “Let’s finish up then you can go sit with your grandpa and watch football with him for a while. He will have his feelings hurt if you don’t.”

  I smiled and wiped at my eyes again. “I wouldn’t want to do that. I’ve caused enough trouble already.”

  “Shhh… Don’t talk like that. I told you, these things happen. It will be okay.”

  I looked at her and once again got the feeling that there was more to that comment than the words suggested.

  Chapter 3

  I was sitting at Bayou Hot Wings, yacking it up with my friends, Laura, Christy and Desi. Christy used to answer phones in the office Laura and Desi worked and had started joining us a few years back. I had known Laura and Desiree since college, and Desi was my best friend. We met for lunch every couple of days, but after I made excuses three times in a row, they were having no more of it.

  “What’s eating you, Alex?” Desi asked as I picked at my food.

  “Yeah! You avoid us for over a week, then you’re not eating. What’s up with that? You pregnant or something?” Laura teased as every laughed. Christy and Laura were married, Christy with a wee one, and of the three women, I probably got laid the least of all of them. Well, except maybe for Christy now.

  When I didn’t answer right away, the table became quiet. “Are you really? How?” Desi asked leaning in.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Who is it?” Laura asked with an excited whisper. “Anyone we know?”

  “No. It’s Cain.”

  “Cain? Is that the hot biker dude you were telling us about?” Desi whispered.

  “Yeah. That’s him.”

  “I’m so excited for you! Eric and I have been trying. We’re getting a lot of practice, but nothing yet,” Laura said. “Here we are, trying our hearts out, and you get knocked up on a one night stand.”

  “Laura! That’s an awful thing to say!” Christy hissed.

  “I didn’t mean anything. I just meant, well, nothing. Just I’m a little jealous, that’s all.”

  Desi placed her hand on my arm. “Are you doing okay?”

  “Yeah. Still in shock, that’s all.”

  “How did it happen?” Christy asked quietly.

  “You have one. You should know!” Laura teased.

  Christy ignored her as she continued to look at me. “I don’t know. We were protected, but…” I mumbled.

  “Damn, that sucks. I’m really sorry for you,” Christy said softly as she looked at her basket of chicken.

  Desi and Laura looked at her like she had just spit in my food.

  “What? If she had wanted to get pregnant, she wouldn’t have had him wearing a condom.” Christy looked back at me with sympathy in her eyes. “If you need anything, or you just need to talk, you call me, okay?”

  “Does he know?” Laura asked.

  “No. I don’t know how to reach him.”

  “What are you going to do? Do your grandparents know?” Desi asked quietly.

  “Nothing I can do, and yeah, I told them last week – my grandmother anyway.”

  “You can’t him track down? Surely someone knows how to reach him,” Christy asked.

  “No one at the club knew. But I’m not sure finding him is such a good idea anyway.”

  “Why?” Laura asked. “If he is as good in bed as you said, and as good looking, why wouldn’t you want him?”

  “He’s a 1%er.”

  “A what?” Christy asked.

  “A 1%er. It means he’s an outlaw and rides with an outlaw motorcycle club.”

  “How do you know that?” Desi asked. I could tell by the way she leaned in she was intrigued. She always did like to walk on the wild side.

  “He had a patch on his vest.”

  “And you still went to bed with him?” Desi asked. “You go girl!”

  “Well, at the time I wasn’t looking for good father material, you know? It was just supposed to be a night of fun.”

  “So what does he do? I mean, how do you know the patch didn’t mean something else?” Christy asked.

  “Wearing a patch like that and not being a 1%er is a good way to get dead. I don’t know what he does. All he said was he was in sales. I don’t think he knew that I knew what the patch meant. So I guess it’s drugs or something. Maybe prostitution. I don’t know.”

  “But he was nice enough?” Desi asked.

  “Yeah. Charming as hell, but that doesn’t make him a good father.”

  “Well, I think it’s awesome!” Laura said as she began to gather up her trash. Laura and Desi were CPAs in an accounting firm, so they only had an hour for lunch.

  “Me, too! I’m so excited for you, Alex,” Desi gushed as she, too, began to gather her trash. “You’re going to be such a great mom!”

  I gathered my trash as well but then I noticed that Christy was making no move to get up. “Yeah. I hope so,” I said as I kept my seat.

  “I’ll call you later and we can talk all about it!” Laura said.

  I smiled weakly. It did feel good to tell someone, but I wasn’t nearly as excited about my change in status as Laura and Desi were.

  “Are you okay?” Christy asked softly after they were gone.

  “I guess. Why?”

  “Because, Alex, those two have no idea. Don’t let them fill your head full of ideas about how great and wonderful and fun this is going to be. It’s not like playing with dolls when we were little. This is the hardest thing I have ever done. It’s why I have to get away for an hour or two every now and then. And I have Rand to help me.”

  I felt my stomach sink. “Swell.”

  “Don’t get me wrong. Gunner is the best thing that has ever happened to me, to Rand and me both, but it’s not easy. If you can get in touch with Cain, you should. I’m not kidding. You’re going to need the help.”

  “You sound like my grandmother.”

  “Because she has been there. Look, I don’t mean to scare you, okay? But you need to know what you are getting into. I can understand you not wanting to get involved with Cain if he is like you said, but—” she placed her hand on my arm and gave it a squeeze, “—you are about to start the hardest job you have ever loved.”

  I don’t know why what she said touched me, but it did, and I could feel the tears well in my eyes. “I’m scared, Christy. I don’t know what to do.”

  “I know, Alex. I’ve been there. Rand and I were married when I got pregnant, and I was still scared. I can’t imagine how scared you must be. And I won’t kid you; it’s hard. I quit my job; it’s been hard making ends meet on just Rand’s salary. He works all the overtime he can get at the shop, and it’s still hard. And he’s tired all the time. But, as I said, it has been the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to us,
and I wouldn’t change a thing.”

  “Does Rand feel the say way?”

  “I think so,” Christy said with a smile that touched my heart. Rand and Christy had gotten married right out of high school, but they seemed so in love. I wondered what it would be like to love someone like that.

  “He comes home and as soon as he gets his shower and eats, he takes Gunner and holds him for a while as they watch television. He’s really good with him and can get him to sleep when I can’t.”

  “If I had someone like Rand, this wouldn’t be so scary,” I whispered. I had never been jealous of Christy before, but I was now. Christy leaned over and pulled me into a hug.

  “It will be okay,” she whispered into my ear before pulling back. “I’m actually looking forward to having someone to talk to about babies for a change. If you need any help, or you have any questions and need to talk, you know who to call,” she said as she jerked a thumb at her chest.

  I had to work hard to keep my tears of gratitude in check. “Thank you, Christy. That means a lot to me,” I said with a sniff and a laugh.

  “Hey, we moms have to stick together. Come out to the house sometime. I’ll let you practice changing diapers on Gunner,” she grinned.

  We talked a while longer then gathered our refuse and left. I felt better now than I had since I found out I was pregnant as Christy’s honest and straightforward support buoyed my spirits. We hugged again as I prepared to get into my little Mazda MX5 and Christy into her towering Ford Explorer. I began to back out of my spot first and gave Christy a wiggle of my fingers in goodbye. She returned my wave with a smile, but I could see sadness in her eyes.

  ***

  The next night I had just popped the bottle of Southern Comfort up from a toe drop, eliciting roars of approval from my clients, and was splashing it into four glasses when I saw him come in. Cain and three more guys, in the Hellhounds’ colors, swaggered in like they owned the place and looked around.

  Cain smiled when he spotted me and sauntered over and sat down. “How you doing… Alexandria.”

  I knew right then that he had forgotten my name and had gotten it off The Claw’s website, but it wasn’t polite to embarrass the guests. It cuts down on the tips, too. “I’m doing great. Want your regular?”

  “You remember what I drank?” He sounded surprised.

  “Sure. Don Julio Reposado over a single cube.” I reached behind the bar and pulled out the amber colored bottle and sat it in front of him. I liked clients like Cain. They drank the good stuff and tipped accordingly.

  He smiled. “Sure. Why not. Impress me.”

  I grin, grabbed the bottle by the neck and gave it a spin up behind my back, bounced it off my elbow, stalled it on the back of my hand before I dropped it, caught it on my toe for a moment, then kicked it back up into my hand. I popped the top and tossed a double shot into a glass from three inches away and set the glass in front of him. I finished by dropping in a single ice cube with no flourish at all.

  “How was that?” I asked as I pulled the twenty from his fingers and tucked it away.

  “Not bad,” he said as he grinned. He picked up his drink and took a sip before he looked me dead in the eye. “But not as impressive as what you did after we left here that night.”

  That stopped me cold. “Yes. Well, you were very charming.”

  He grinned at me and I could feel the pull again. Damnit. He was just too good looking for his own good. Six-three, if he was an inch, with a body that made women drool, long straw colored hair that was clean and neatly cut, and beard that followed and reinforced his strong jawline. In short, a walking wet dream.

  “The question is, can I be charming enough again?”

  “I’m impressed that you could remember my name. The last time you were…”

  “Smashed? Snockered? Shit-faced? Pixilated? Blotto?”

  I laughed in delight. “Pixilated? The polite term is ‘under the weather.’”

  “Yes I was. But I couldn’t forget you. Alexandria Bernhardt, related to the famous nineteenth century French actress, Sarah Bernhardt.”

  I gave him credit for remembering that much. “Call me Alex,” I said and then grinned as he blushed, knowing he had been caught out. “Don’t worry about it. Tell me your last name and we’ll call it even.”

  “Rodgers,” he said as he reached across the bar. “Cain Rodgers.”

  I shook his hand. “Hang on a minute, Cain,” I said as I moved off to wait on another customer.

  ***

  “Want a refill?” I asked when I returned to him.

  “One more, but that’s it. I want to have a better recollection of tonight.”

  “Oh?” I asked with my ‘leave me a big tip’ smile as I refilled his glass. “What’s happening tonight?”

  “It all depends on the most beautiful woman in the state of Louisiana.”

  “Will she be by later?”

  Cain snickered into his drink then put it down. “Beautiful, talented, and modest. A truly deadly combination.”

  I blew him a kiss then moved off again. It’s all part of the game. Flirt with the customers and show them a good time. But I really needed to talk to him and tell him what had happened. I had no way to contact him and then he just walked back in one day. That had to be a sign that I should tell him. I made up my mind. Granny and Christy were right; he deserved to know. As I filled a table order I debated with myself over what to do. One part of me wanted to take him to bed. He couldn’t get me any more pregnant, and I would like to see what he could do when he wasn’t… pixilated. I smiled at my new favorite term for being drunk out of your mind. But the other part of me was saying that it would be cruel to break the news to him while we were playing hide the sausage.

  After catching up the orders, and earning another tip, I walked back to Cain. “I would like to talk to you, if you can stick around until we close.”

  “Talk? Or something else?” he asked with a smile that made my heart speed up.

  “Just talk to start with, okay?”

  He gave me a slight head nod. “Sure. I can do that,” he said, but his look said he had a lot more planned for tonight. God how I wanted to indulge him, but we had to talk first.

  ***

  “Come here often?” Cain asked with a grin as we slid into a table.

  It was almost three in the morning and this is where I came if I wanted to grab a quick something before heading home. Lard Have Mercy was open late, the food and coffee were good, the service quick, and the prices low. We were the only two people in the place, so it was perfect if he created a scene.

  “Not often, but try the beignets. They’re to die for.”

  “The what?”

  “You’ve never heard of a beignet? It’s kind of like a doughnut, but better.”

  “An order of beignets and a coffee,” he said as the waitress came to a stop at the table.

  “Make that two chicory coffees,” I amended. “Trust me,” I added as I looked at him.

  The waitress looked at Cain, either for confirmation or because he was so damned easy to look at. “Chicory it is,” he said with a grin then turned his attention me. “So, what we going to talk about?” He leaned in very close. “I have a suggestion if you need an icebreaker.”

  Cain had been even more charming tonight than he had been the last time he was in The Claw, perhaps because he wasn’t so pixilated.

  I cleared my throat and spun the utensils on the table in front of me. “Cain, I don’t know how to tell you this.”

  He grinned wickedly at me. “Just spit it out.”

  If that is what he wanted. I leaned in. “I’m pregnant.”

  I watched the color drain from his face as his smile slowly disappeared. “What?”

  “I said I’m pregnant.” He sat there, staring at me for a long time. “Aren’t you going to say anything?”

  He leaned in to meet me in the middle of the table. “Are you sure?”

  “Of course I’m fucking sure!�
� I hissed. “And before you ask, yes, I know it’s yours!”

  “Holy shit,” he whispered as he leaned back into his chair.

  I watched him. I knew it was a lot for him to take in, and I kind of dropped it on him sudden like, but I wanted him to say something. Anything. I waited as he continued to stare at me and I felt my temper rising with every tick of the clock on the wall. He wanted to get fucked tonight. Well, he was fucked now.